BREAKING NEWS; Six more weeks of winter. Or maybe not.
Six more weeks is the word from Punxsutawney Phil, the principal prognosticator of Pennsylvania.
Here in Connecticut, Chuckles, the groundhog at the Lutz Children’s Museum in Manchester, says we’ll have an early spring.
The truth? YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
This is a glass-half-empty or glass-half-full situation. This time Phil is the pessimist and Chuckles is the optimist. But the truth is that either way, spring will start in six weeks, give or take a few days, with the spring equinox on March 20.
This is why the groundhog never loses. It’s a false dichotomy. It isn’t either-or, it’s both.
I suppose that makes that makes the groundhog non-binary, which seems appropriate. Both groundhogs have been portrayed by male and female critters over the years. They also have live-in companions. Phil’s wife is Phyllis. Chuckles lives with Jolene. Beyond that, their personal lives are none of our business.