Another entry from my 1978 journals showed that I knew I was going nowhere staying at my childhood home:

I fear these entries are becoming shorter and more cryptic. This perhaps, is well — it certainly is fitting, as little is happening and most of it is directionless. A dream last night had me trying to sail a boat, but unable to go anywhere — blocked and tackled.

Howard W. Fielding, “Journal,” 8 December 1978

As a seasoned editor and sailor, I know the expression I was looking for was “in irons.” That’s when you’re literally headed into the wind and can’t fill the sail on either side of the boat to get forward motion. A lot of careers end up that way.